Dear mother of my child,

Today is the Saturday before Mother’s Day and it is marked as “Birth Mother’s Day”, a day to celebrate and thank those who have by choice (or perhaps not by choice) allowed another woman/family the great privilege of raising their child.

For you, dear mother of my child, this day came without your willing agreement for your child was removed from you due to poor choices you had made and a lifestyle that was not conducive to raising her.  As a mother to her own biological children, I can’t imagine the mental, emotional and physical anguish you must have felt as yet another one of your biological children was taken away from you.  Did you cry?  Were you simply resigned to the fact knowing this would likely happen?  Did you grieve for days or weeks after you returned home?  What feelings overtook your physical body as you heard a baby cry and the milk leaked from your breast?  Do you ever think of this child who now calls another woman “Mommy” and who at such a tender, young age, knows not of the sacrifice you made for her?

I think of you often, dear mother of my child, though not nearly as much as I used to.  I have been incredibly mad at you, enraged, to be honest as this beautiful child has battled countless times for her life with very complicated health issues likely caused by your poor choices.  I have screamed at you, shaken my fist at you and wished more than anything you could see first-hand the result of the choices you thought were only affecting you.  Upon this child’s second birthday, a day in which I should have found great delight, I instead found profound sadness as I thought of you throughout the day.  I grieved that you would never know this incredible, precious and anointed child and you would never likely see her blow our those birthday candles, recalling with great sentimentality the day of her birth.

But, dear, precious mother of my child, but for Jesus!!  On that day of her second birthday, my precious Jesus whispered such gentle yet convicting words to my soul as His Spirit brought to mind an old hymn, “Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.  I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.”  You see, precious mother of my child, I am just like you, a wretched sinner in need of a Savior and because of the grace and mercy poured out by Jesus Christ and His death upon a cross, He has saved me, redeemed me and set me free from a life of sin and bondage.  Who am I to judge you, to condemn you, to look down upon you?  “For we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).  From that day forward my prayers for you have changed and my heart has been changed as well.

Dear mother of my child, today on the day before Mother’s Day, may you know the love and mercy of a Savior who knew you when you were formed in your mother’s womb.  He fearfully and wonderfully created you and has a plan for your life to be used for your good and for His glory.  While I fear you believe you have likely done nothing positive with your life and have little to show for your years on earth, I can promise you that your life has made an eternal impact in one family’s life as the child you gave life to is my most beloved and treasured daughter.  There are no words to adequately thank you for giving life to this child whose own short life has impacted scores and scores of people.  Her infectious laugh, her radiant smile, her big brown eyes that speak when words are scarce.

One of her favorite songs right now is a song she sings at church that says, “My God is strong, He’ll do anything big or small.  Nothing is impossible for a super wonderful God!  Everyday I can know God is always there for me and my family.  Everyday I can know greater is the ONE who lives inside me.”  And to my daughter and the mother of my child, I reply, yes, baby girl, yes; your God is super strong, super wonderful and He is always there for you, your Mommy, Daddy, 3 bubbas and yes, the dear woman who ushered you into this world and into my arms and heart.

6 Responses to “To the mother of my child…”

  1. Laura
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    Beautifully written! Wish I had written a similar letter to the birth mothers of our children. Touches the very depth of my heart! Thank you Michelle.

  2. Jason Duke
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    As your husband, I couldn’t be more proud! As a co-parent with you to our beautiful daughter, I’m so thankful for this letter! You expressed so beautifully the hopes, dreams, and desire that I have never been able to verbalize myself. Thank you for so eloquently conveying this message in a way that speaks to so many other parents too.

  3. Lo
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    Absolutely beautiful, Chelle!

  4. Ginger Boyce
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    Beautiful! I am so glad that you an your daughter found each other. I’m saying a prayer for her birth mother.

  5. Robyn
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    Michelle! This literally brought me to tears! Such transparency and truth wrapped up in the wonderful saving grace of our Lord Jesus. Thank you for sharing!

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