The View From Our Sink
If there is one thing I know, it is that moms are awesome. And if there is one more thing I know, they are quick to see their weaknesses and inadequacies. Unfortunately, with that up close and personal look at their own yuck, they see a beautiful picture in other moms’ worlds. Call it the Facebook posts or the happy plastic conversations we sometimes have, but many moms are left thinking that someone else has it all together while we are, well, a mess.
We might be willing to say that our personality is unique and that God knew what he was doing when he created us. But sometimes the tension of daily life brings us with some personality envy. Moms can wish they were more driven and determined to make the plan happen. Social moms wish they got more done. Stable moms wish they could live more assertively or spontaneously. And the list goes on. What would it look like for us to NOT have this kind of envy?
Embrace the You
The first thing to do is probably identify your personality characteristics through an objective assessment. Try not to add emotion or value to the words– they just are. If you want to review a brief overview of DISC you can look at this earlier blog. And if you want to dig into a Personality session with us, please check out our coaches and schedule a free discovery session. You are wonderfully made and God has purpose for your life!
I Wish I Was…
I recently spent some time with homeschool moms in a couple different personality workshops. Why are we so quick to judge who we are? It seems there are always other characteristics that seem better than what we have. Some examples of why each personality type is envied, and a reminder of some of the speed bumps:
Strengths: they get so much done, they have great drive, they have a business or decorate their homes or contribute to world peace all while being a mom. They are motivated by goals, and encourage their children to make things happen too.
Weaknesses: they can be pushy and run their household with too much “oomph”. D moms can forget to be relational or consider others’ feelings. When things don’t go according to their plan, they can get frustrated. They might prefer default on mundane tasks at home so they can move bigger mountains.
Strengths: very relational, they are in the moment with their kids and making creative projects. They are not so hung up on a plan that they can’t see this day calls for a little creativity. And they have a host of people to get together with at any moment.
Weaknesses: they can be so relational, that they don’t get much done. Tasks seem mundane and people are so much more interesting! They can be loud or appear selfish and have a hard time putting others first.
Strengths: stable and steady, they are able to keep the schedule and tow the line. Their kids may thrive under the routine and predictability of their day. They adapt to what others around them need and appear selfless.
Weaknesses: In defaulting to others they sometimes lose themselves. They are reserved, so they don’t assert their thoughts and opinions. Since they are more relational, they may not get as much accomplished as others around them.
Strengths: careful and cautious, they have thought things through. They are resourceful, prepared for the day and the future. Lists are their friends, and they are thoughtful about what the next step should be.
Weaknesses: so caught up in the decision-making, they can be slow to make decisions and get caught up in all the details. While being reserved and task-oriented, these moms aren’t as comfortable asserting themselves or making time to relax and be social.
What Are You Going to Do?
I recommend you take some time to reflect. Identify these main points and talk with a friend or journal about it.
- What is my personality type as a mom (1 or 2 of the DISC categories)
- What are some of the greatest strengths of my personality as a mom?
- What are some of the weaknesses of my personality type as a mom?
- How can I lead with my personality strengths?
- How can I grow in my areas of weakness? (ideas: ask a friend for help, make a list, get coached, make baby steps, set a goal, create a support group, etc.)
- How can I better embrace my friends’ personalities rather than envy them?
- Who can I share these personality pros and cons with that will help me embrace the me that God made?
Let me know if you want to talk. I believe in YOU! Don’t waste time with envy of another mom’s personality when you can be embracing your own and letting your light shine!