We love Dave Ramsey, and we have been impacted by his wisdom for years. I think I would need to stream it 24/7 for it to really sink in, but it has made a significant impact. In this popular post, Dave cites the importance of true, quality pre-married counseling like our Starting Strong Workshop. Of course if you are not the “group workshop” kind of person, you can always contact us to start our 2-on-2 for our pre-married coaching package. The benefit? Talking about some of the issues that don’t come up in typical conversation and letting a professional guide you to a strong connection, the road to success and clear signs about how to avoid common pitfalls.
When You Are Living Together
One of my pet peeves is when people are living together and then think they don’t need pre-marital guidance. Living together only gives insight into a few areas of marriage. Sure, it will help you see some of the little quirks or daily habits that your soon-to-be spouse has, but there is so much more at stake than the routines and habits of our present life. We have permanent personality wiring, years of life experience, and a solid family of origin that contributed significantly to who we are (for good or bad or a good dose of both). Unpacking those things can be incredibly powerful and even helpful to reducing potential future conflict.
Money, Religion, Kids, In-Laws
Ramsey says these are the 4 must talk issues. I love that he is initiating this conversation and I agree that all 4 of these topics are big. I encourage you to read the article and let us know what you think. Were you prepared and in agreement about the areas of money, religion, kids, and in-laws? And yet we think there are some basic areas of understanding that can help you tackle these big topics and more.
Personality, Family of Origin, Life Experience
We help couples unpack more of who they are in order for them to understand each other better. This triangle of forces are what make you who you are and shape the way you see the world. When we understand where we are coming from, identify the factors in our spouse’s lives, and then learn TOOLS to communicate more effectively, we are on our way to a successful and satisfying marriage.
Tools to Resolve Conflict and Deal with Stress
We love talking with couples at bridal shows, and we often joke that “we know there is NO stress or conflict in planning a wedding”. Of course there is! And of course there is stress and conflict in marriage. Of course, we would say the trials we have been through have made us stronger, but that is another blog. We believe in equipping you with some “tools for your toolbox”: communicating effectively, resolving conflict, understanding personality, managing stress, forgiving well, and setting goals. When you have tools, you will be able to grow as your relationship grows. You can’t know everything you will have to deal with, but you can get started with the tools you will need for a lot of issues!
What tools do you have? What tools do you wish you had? How can pre-married couples best prepare for marriage? Let us know how we can help.